


Patterns of the Mind

by bboiseux



Series: CR2 Short Stuff [7]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Betrayal, C2E007, Canon-Typical Violence, Evil!Fjord, Gen, I don't know why I wrote this, LLF Comment Project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 04:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13803423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bboiseux/pseuds/bboiseux
Summary: “Fjord.  Psst.”  It was barely a whisper, but Fjord could just make it out.“Yeah?  What is it, Beau?”“I’ve been thinking.  A lot.  About what we’ve seen and what’s happened since we all fell together.”Beau has been thinking and drawing conclusions.  Conclusions she doesn't like.  Unfortunately, she's right.  And that's going to be a problem.





	Patterns of the Mind

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.

The night was humid, hot wetness blanketing everything the air touched.   The fire had burned down to embers and Fjord and Beau stood away from even that little heat.  Around the camp, the rest of the gang was spread out, all except Caleb and Nott who seemed to cling together even more tightly in the dampness.  Jester, sketchbook just put away, had stripped to her lightest layers.  And Molly was almost completely nude, his swords clutched to his bare, scarred chest. They were trying to keep cool, but it was a losing battle. 

Crickets chirped in the night.  They were incessant in this heat and the cacophony drowned out any other noise.  Fjord wasn’t sure they’d be able to hear anyone approaching.  The crack of a twig underfoot, the breathing of stealthy attackers, would be swallowed up in the that noise.  He peered suspiciously into the darkness.

Beau saw nothing and the crickets ensured she’d hear nothing, but she listened anyway.  It was the only thing she could do in the blindness of night.  That and think.  She’d been thinking for a while now, laying the pieces of evidence in front of her mind’s eye and looking for the pattern.  She’d been taught that there were patterns everywhere, but we had to learn to distinguish between the patterns of the world and the patterns of the mind.  Patterns of the world were truth and they led us to the correct path.  Patterns of the mind were deception and revealed more about who we were than anything about the world.  To be caught in the patterns of the mind was to be truly blind.  Here, in this darkness, that blindness seemed doubled and, although she wouldn’t admit it, she feared stumbling unknowingly into that blindness.

“Fjord.  Psst.”  It was barely a whisper, but Fjord could just make it out.

He continued peering into the darkness.  “Yeah?  What is it, Beau?”  There were times, when he stared like this into the darkness, that it seemed like there was movement just out of range of his vision.  Like something knew exactly how far he could see and was testing the limits of safety.

“I’ve been thinking.  A lot.  About what we’ve seen and what’s happened since we all fell together.”  There was no point in watching the distance, so Beau watched Fjord.  He was intent in his watching, like he always was.  Slow in speech, but fast in sight.

“Yeah.  Makes sense.  Things have been . . . weird.”  Was there something there?  Or was it just his mind playing tricks on him.

“Yeah, yeah.  Weird.  That’s a good word for it.  I mean, think about it,” Beau itemized on her fingers as she spoke, “A fiend, who has been hidden for years, suddenly starts feeding like crazy.  Right?”

“Yep.”  No, it was in his mind.  Fjord squeezed his eyes shut and looked again.  Yes, in his mind.  There was nothing out in that darkness.

“Then the gnolls, who have lived in the area forever, just up and start stealing people from their towns because they’re so hungry.”

Fjord finally glanced at Beau.  “Yeah, but . . . we know why they were suddenly stealing people.”

“Sure, sure.  I’m just saying, let’s pretend they’re connected for a moment.”  Beau thought that should settle it.  If she recognized that the pattern was _probably_ in her mind, then it was okay to just think about it.  “Why would two kinds of creatures, miles apart, suddenly start feeding like that”

Fjord stood up and looked around.  “Well, if we’re speaking hypothetically, what about that giant ass snake we killed?  I’m going to do a circle of the camp.  Something isn’t sitting right with me.”

“Right, cool cool.  I’ll, uh, just sit here.”

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

The ground crunched under Fjord’s feet as he faded into the darkness and then the noise faded away too.  Beau thought.  Could the snake be part of the pattern too?  Well, it was just an animal, while the fiend and the gnolls were intelligent, so that didn’t fit.  But how often did animals wander into town and attack people?  Wasn’t that often nowadays.  Beau shook her head.  Maybe.  To be honest, she was avoiding the reason she started talking about this.  Maybe the snake was part of it.  It would fit with the pattern that was forming in her mind.  But that was the point—in her mind.

She tugged absently at her robes, felt the heavy cling of sweat, and stood up to see if she could find Fjord moving on the other side of the camp.  She could just make out the outlines of his figure in the gray-orange mix of dying fire and blackness, stopping occasionally and then continuing with a steady stride.  He was melting into the darkness.  Her vision couldn’t fight back the night.

Night was the problem.  It was the reason she was talking about this pattern.  In the dark, the mind saw new patterns and, in the night, the mind revealed it’s patterns.

Fjord was walking up, but his eyes kept straying to the darkness—that blankness where everything ended for Beau.

“Do you see something?”

Fjord sat and shook his head.  “I keep thinking I see something—some kind of movement—but I can never quite make it out.  Whatever it is, it’s staying out of sight.”

“We should check it out.”  Beau was already up, fists clenched.

Fjord held up a hand, “No, if it doesn’t bother us, we don’t bother it.  No reason to invite trouble.  Sit down.”

Beau’s body was already coiled and ready, but she unwound her springs and sat back down.

They say in silence and the night lingered on.   Fjord twitched sometimes at something that Beau couldn’t see and Beau fought the instincts of her body to leap into motion.  Finally, Fjord rubbed his eyes and rested his head in his hands.

“You alright?”  The words were laced with genuine concern.

Fjord rubbed at his temples.  “Yeah, I think so.  I’m just not sure there’s anything out there.  I’m twitchy, that’s all.”  He tapped his head.  “Dark playing tricks on me.”

Beau gave him a long stare, noticing the tiredness that seemed to have seeped into his face with that confession.  “Do you dream, Fjord?”

“What?”

“I know you’ve had nightmares.  We all remember that time you threw up sea water.  But do you dream?”

Fjord went back to rubbing his temples.  “Not that I remember.”  He stared into the dark again.  “Why?”

“You talk sometimes.  And I sleep pretty lightly.”

“Shit.” Fjord started at something in the dark.  “Beau, I think that we need to check this out.”

Beau was up, but also saying, “What the hell, Fjord? You just said your eyes were playing tricks on you.”

Fjord’s sword shimmered into being in his hand as he stood.  “Maybe I need to stop doubting myself.”

“Fuck.  I’ll wake the others.”

Fjord quickly shushed her and whispered, “Let’s just get a little closer.  Make sure it isn’t my eyes acting up.  Stay with me”

They both crept into the night—Fjord, sword at the ready; Beau, hands clenched into fists.  As the moved away from the camp, Beau’s vision grew blacker and blacked.  Fjord rested a hand on her and guided them forward.  “You keep your senses.  If we run into anything, I’m going to need you.”

“Uh huh.”

“Hey, Beau?”

“Yeah?”

“You know those nightmares I have?”

“Yeah, you say something like ‘Provoke. Consume.’  It’s weird.”

“I’m sorry, Beau.”  The drawl dropped out of his voice—replaced with something too refined and polished—and Beau automatically went on the defensive, pulling away from Fjord’s grasp.  “But you don’t stop asking questions and you will get there too quickly.  Best we end this here.”

They froze like that: Beau, muscles tensed and ready, and Fjord, sword ready to strike.   Their eyes locked on each other—Beau barely able to make out Fjords form; Fjord able to see her perfectly.  Beau could hear her breathing, heavy in her ears.  Fjord could hear his breathing, heavy in his ears.  The chirping of the crickets faded to nothing as they each centered their all entirely on the other.

The sword swung into motion.  Beau’s body reacted before her mind, her arms snapping forward in a blur, one colliding with Fjord’s midsection, the other with his face.  She felt the sword impact with her arm—a meaty cut that sliced deep, a jagged pain—and felt something go crack under her fist.

Fjord’s arm started to raise again and Beau threw herself around his body, one hand pummeling his midsection.  He tried to bring the pommel of the sword down on her head but, instead, it glanced off her shoulder.  She slammed a knee hard into his crotch.  As he doubled over, she kicked back and smashed a foot into his head.  The momentum tossed Fjord backward into the darkness.

Beau realized her mistake immediately.  She couldn’t see.  And at a distance—

The green eldritch energy erupted out of the night and seared through her body.  Beau collapsed on her hands and knees, gasping for breath.

The blood pounded in her ears and everything else became the crickets.  She looked around and could just make out the dim, ember light of the camp in the distance.  She opened her mouth to scream—

The energy coursed through her again, every muscle screaming out in agony and then giving up.  Beau slumped to the ground.

Fjord walked up.  He couldn’t depend on the others to stay asleep.  This had to be quick.  He raised his sword and sliced at Beau’s prone body.  Blood sprayed across the muddy ground.

Then he turned and shouted “Help!” and slumped to the ground, letting the sword drop.

**Author's Note:**

> I am also [bboiseux on tumblr](https://bboiseux.tumblr.com/).
> 
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